I'm taking a deep breath and plunging into a discussion I've been a little wary of: why I'm not a fan of the bad boy/girl trope. As with everything, we're all different and we all like different things. The opinion I'm expressing here is my own, and it's one that colors the way I write characters, particularly romantic leads.
Bad boys and girls in pop culture tend to be portrayed as very sexy, that dangerous edge making them oh-so-appealing. But as anyone who's had to recover from a relationship with a bad boy/girl knows, being with someone who's physically abusive, manipulative, a pathological liar, or an emotional abuser--or any combination of these things--is no laughing matter. An unhealthy relationship can destroy a person's sense of self and have lasting effects on their mental and physical health. It can leave devastating scars that may require years of therapy to overcome. And the effects reach beyond the two people who form the couple. Dating violence can also destroy the victim's relationship with family and friends, leaving the victim isolated and loved ones to deal with the emotional impact of the loss of that relationship.

Now, I'm not saying that every fictional relationship has to be squeaky clean for me to approve. I also happen to be a very big fan of redemption stories, as I like to think it's possible for people to change and own up to the bad things they've done in the past, manifesting a sincere desire to do better and be better. However, if I'm reading a book or watching a movie or TV show, and the supposedly highly desirable love interest insults their dating partner, belittles them, or treats them horribly, it will turn me off instantly. And it goes without saying that if either partner is physically abusive toward the other, that's unacceptable. While I don't want to downplay the impact of physical abuse, I feel like emotional abuse is a much more hidden topic, one people often tend to dismiss as not being all that serious. Yes, we all do and say nasty things in the heat of the moment, but there's a difference between a few careless words and a long campaign of emotional abuse.

My most problematic love interest character is Lysander/Edward, the beast in The Eye of the Beholder. He's a redemption character, and I didn't want to soften his bad side. I wanted him to be a terrible person who slowly realizes how terrible he is and honestly repents of it. I'll come right out and admit I had trouble with writing him at times, particularly when I started to delve into the romantic side of his relationship with Mira. I was walking a tightrope, and I only hope I did it with at least some success.

Aside from him, my other love interest characters are of the nice guy variety, and one of the things that disturbs me most is when people think nice characters are unrealistic. I think that says a lot about our culture, that so many people honestly believe niceness is a rare and exotic quality. I personally reject this view because I happen to be married to a man who's a lot like some of the characters in my books. He respects me, he is my partner and treats me like one, and he's an active participant in my home life who does dishes, folds laundry, and spends time with the kids. Sure, we disagree and even fight sometimes, but we fight fair. He's been my biggest cheerleader almost since the day he came into my life, and it's really because of him that I took the leap and published my books, because he believes so strongly in me and wanted to see me follow my dreams. That is what a relationship should look like.

I feel strongly about this issue because of statistics like these, from loveisrespect.org:

• "One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence."
  
• "One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse."

And this from the World Health Organization:

• "Recent global prevalence figures indicate that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime."

And this from LAMBDA:

• "The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence against heterosexual women (25%).  As in opposite-gendered couples, the problem is likely underreported."

When popular culture portrays relationship violence as being sexy and desirable, it contributes to the noramlization of dating violence. No one should think that if their boyfriend is a habitual jerk, that's okay, as long as he pretends to be sorry. No one should believe that the woman of their dreams will walk all over them and treat them like an object, and that they should repress their hurt and their insecurities from her because she can't be bothered with them. That's not what real love looks like, and society does no one any service by pretending that it does look that way. Love is complicated and difficult, but at its heart a real, healthy, loving relationship means being in a partnership with someone who brings out the best in us, who listens to our hopes, fears, and dreams. Someone who offers an encouraging word and a shoulder to cry on, someone who doesn't hit below the belt because, at all times, he or she holds our feelings sacred.

So it probably goes without saying that there will be no sexy bad boys or girls in my books, unless I'm using them to illustrate a point, as I have in Starstruck. There will be flawed characters who do bad things and inflict pain on one another, but they will own up to that and grow as people--or they won't, which will clearly illustrate their villainy.

My hope is that more people will discuss topics like these until those statistics I quoted above shrink and shrink until they almost disappear.

Fellow Infinite Inkling (infiniteinkauthors.com) Megan Thomason tagged me and made me It. Check out her blog at meganthomason.com to find out about her writing process.

What am I working on?

I'm working like crazy to get my first new adult romance novel, Starstruck, prepared for a March 31st release. The closer the date gets, the more filled with nervous anticipation I feel. This book is new territory for me, but a huge part of what I love about being indie is my ability to try out other genres whenever the mood takes me. For a long time I've wanted to tell the story central to Starstruck, and I hope it's one that will resonate with readers--though I very much hope not many of them have personal experience with being in an abusive relationship.

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I admit it, sometimes I intentionally break genre conventions just for the fun of it. This is especially true of my fantasy novels, where I put a twist on traditional fairy tales. With The Eye of the Beholder, I wanted to tell the beast's side of the beauty and the beast story, because I always wondered what was going through his head. With Asleep, I wanted to write about a warrior princess who had to rescue a prince in distress.

With my dystopian series, Contributor, I spent a lot of time thinking about what the society would look like, building it from the ground up before I populated it with any characters. I wanted it to be a story about a girl fighting to overcome what she sees as a great wrong, while also exploring the possibilities of what the future might look like, given where our society is today.

Why do I write what I do?

The simple answer is that the stories are banging around in my head, begging to be unleashed, but my reasons differ depending on which genre I'm writing in at any give time.

For instance, when I write women's fiction, I pretty much write what I wish I saw on the screen when I watch a romantic comedy. There was a fantastic period that I think of as the golden age of romantic comedies, when movies like Sleepless in Seattle and While You Were Sleeping were released. I adore stories about people falling in love, but I want to watch them fall in love. I want to see the angst, the uncertainty, and those breathless, giddy moments where the characters look at one another and wonder, "Does s/he feel what I feel?" And while the romance is central, I also want those stories to be about complete characters. I want to understand their psychology and learn what makes them tick.

How does my writing process work?

I drink way too much coffee and get cricks in my neck from staring at my computer screen for hours on end. Okay, that's just part of it, but it's a significant part of it.

Step one is to write a draft, and my rule for drafting is to write without stopping to make changes. I set a word count goal every day, and push myself to get at least that many words written, no matter how hard it may be to drag them out of my brain. I used to feel a lot of pressure to make my work perfect from the start, but I'm learning to tame my perfectionist side and fix what needs to be fixed during editing. I write very fast, so drafting is a pretty quick process for me.

I'm a total, unabashed pantser. I had a very elaborate outline for Infiltrator, the second Contributor book, and I ended up more or less chucking it out the window as I wrote. I do have extensive notes about how the society is constructed and how it functions, but I couldn't stick to a plan for how the story itself should proceed. Ideas take root in my brain, and I often see scenes from the book playing out in my head. Then I do my best to translate them onto paper. My stories have minds of their own, so I'm never guiding them. Instead, they're tolerating my being along for the ride, and where they go sometimes really takes me by surprise.

Once drafting is done, the extensive editing process starts. The draft goes through multiple revisions, as well as critique and feedback from my trusty alpha and beta readers. Then more editing and proofreading happens before the finished product is ready to go. I try to get it as perfect as possible, though mistakes slip past even a perfectionist like myself. In truth, my editorial process never ends, because whenever I reread one of my books, I never fail to find things I'd do differently. If I find any typos, I fix them and upload updated versions of my books ASAP.

Up next on the #mywritingprocess tour is fellow Infinite Inkling Aimee, who publishes as A.G. Henley. She's the author of the Brilliant Darkness series, and you can find out more about her at her website, www.aghenley.com.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all my readers! May you have the luck of the Irish!

If you're like me and not one bit Irish, well, I hope you have a good day too! Since today feels like an excellent day for sharing, I've updated the first two sneak peek chapters of Starstruck and I've added four more. I'm getting really excited about the release, and I hope you'll enjoy getting a taste of the book before it comes out.

Click the links below to read, or mouse over to my "Sneak Peeks" tab. Happy reading!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6