So I’m going to give this blogging thing another go, mostly because I’ve disconnected from social media but still have stuff to say. (God, I have SO much to say—whether people want to hear it, that’s a whole different matter.) I do say things in my newsletter, so if you’re not a subscriber, you may want to be (plus, you know, you get free books, so that’s cool), but since my newsletter only goes out twice a month I wanted somewhere to collect my thoughts. Plus, blogging gives me a whole lot more leisure to develop my ideas and better express them.

Here goes. Strap yourself in. I have opinions.

I spend a lot of time writing stuff.

That goes without saying, right? The thing is, I don’t write just anything. I mean, I write a lot of things, but not just anything, if you get what I’m saying. I’m an avid reader, have been my whole life, and I love stories in a way I can’t fully articulate or quantify. However, I have beefs with stories. Oh so many beefs.

In college, I majored in French and minored in English, which means I read a LOT of books and plays. Like a metric crapton. Most of the stuff I read was stuff I frankly didn’t want to be reading. Yes, I love literature, but I don’t love all literature. (Hemingway. *shudder*) Sure, I did love some of it (Shakespeare, you masterful bard, you), but when you’re forced to read four books a semester, none of which you want to be reading, it ends up taking a toll.

College temporarily killed my love of reading—which shouldn’t be interpreted as me saying I hated higher education, because I am a nerd and I loved college. I’m one of those people who would probably be an eternal student if I had endless money and endless time. But after having been force-fed so much literature, much of it excruciating for me to read, I just lost that reading spark.

I can’t tell you how good it felt to dive back into books, once I was free to read what I wanted to read when I wanted to read it. I inhaled everything I could get my hands on.

Then I started noticing things that really annoyed me. There were some tropes I couldn’t stomach, and if I stuck with any particular genre long enough I started to feel like I was reading the same books over and over.

Now, I’ll take a timeout here to say I am NOT trying to insult other authors. I love other authors. I love reading their work and being surprised by how different their minds are, by how they write things I would never have thought of writing, by how some of it is so gorgeous and delicious and perfect that I wish I had written it.

That said, genres have their tropes. This is true of books, movies, video games, and TV shows. I get tropes, I do. I’m like everyone else in that I enjoy predictability in certain aspects of my life, so I get wanting the assurance that if you pick up a book, you’re going to get what you expect out of it.

The thing is, *I* don’t like predictability in my media. I don’t like it at all.

Because of this, I am almost gleeful about blowing up tropes and defying genre conventions. This is to my own detriment at times, as it makes my writing particular, and I understand this. Maybe I’ll never write anything that appeals to a mass market. I’m okay with this, because I am a niche reader, which makes me a niche writer. I know I’m not alone, and I want to reach those other niche readers who, like me, are frustrated by the challenge of trying to find just the right book.

One of my absolute favorite genre tropes to slay is anything—ANYTHING—to do with gender stereotyping. I am a woman. I am a woman who wants to imagine myself in the role of superhero, chosen one, savior of the world. It is sometimes extremely hard to find this kind of woman in literature, sadly. I think things are changing. I’m finding more amazing female characters with each year that passes, I’m happy to say, but for sure one of the reasons I started writing is because I wanted to see different, more diverse female characters out in the book world.

I have a particular beef with fantasy. Again, there are exceptions to this, I know (The Broken Earth series, I am looking with particular admiration at you), but, ugh, the female tropes in fantasy fiction.

(And do not, DO NOT, tell me that, “Well, this is the way things were in the past, so the author is going for authenticity…” No. Just, no. By definition, fantasy worlds are completely made up—I mean, they often have DRAGONS, for crying out loud—so there is NO reason for them to bear any resemblance to our culture, past or present, unless the author is using that culture as a way of exploring a specific issue.)

One of my favorite things to do is make my female characters warriors, rulers, and leaders, and have other characters not only accept this, but not even question it. It’s not even weird to them because it’s the norm. Oh, so the Captain of the Royal Guard is a woman? Yeah, that makes sense. No big deal.

In other words, I love to write female characters who do the same things my male characters do. I imagine worlds where female characters can be anything and everything without anyone saying, “But you’re a woman!” or “You’re good at ____ — for a woman”.

A world like that would probably look something like this:

To this end, I have written a five-book fantasy series in which my female characters have magical, gods-granted gifts—or they don’t. They’re leaders and loners, prickly and friendly, strong and weak. I’ve written a YA dystopian trilogy in which female characters are engineers and revolutionaries who work in concert with their male counterparts to better their world. In short, I try to make my female characters multifaceted human beings. Because, you know, women ARE multifaceted human beings.

Bye, bye, damsel in distress trope. Don’t let the door hit ya. See ya later, women in fridges. You really irk me.

You want genre tropes? That’s awesome, and I definitely want there to be books for you. I’m just probably not going to write them is all.

But if you don’t like genre tropes, if you’re looking for something a little different, a little outside of the box, well, I’m your woman.

(But not THE woman, though. That title is reserved.)

I admit that when I delved into publishing, I was pretty naive. I had anticipated that not everyone would like my books, which I am A-okay with as I don't like every book I read, and sometimes I dislike books that everyone else seems to like. We all have our own tastes, and I can frankly be very particular. What I hadn't anticipated, though, was the reaction some people have to specific character types, namely the nice ones (and by nice, I don't mean people who are actually jerks, who do things with an agenda in mind and then bemoan the fact that they didn't get what they wanted and it's so unfair because they're so "nice"--you know the type).

Before I proceed, I want to throw out a big, fat disclaimer. I am by no means trying to argue that I can do no wrong when it comes to my characters and how I portray them. Writing is something I've been doing since I could hold a pencil, but I know for a fact that I will never stop learning about it, no matter how many novels I read or write. So please don't take this as a defensive post.

Now, down to it.

One of the reactions that most perplexes me is when someone says, "This character is too nice." Of course some of this boils down to taste. The character doesn't work for that reader, and that's perfectly valid. I've been known to think this about some characters. Maybe what we really mean is the character is too gullible or too naive or too passive, but we use the word "nice" as a blanket description. But criticizing characters for being too nice makes me worry that maybe society is a bit jaded. I find it especially worrisome when caring, supportive male love interests are deemed unrealistic. What?

Granted, evil characters and characters with an edge are interesting--to me too. If they're done well, they can be a lot of fun to read about, especially because they can provoke such strong reactions. When I'm reading a book, I want to be invested in the story, and I want to feel actual emotions. Unsavory characters are very good at creating a strong reaction, so I'm not undermining their value.

But I don't get why that means nice characters are no good. When nice characters are done well, they can have just as many shades as the not nice characters. And by nice I don't mean someone who's perfect at all times. People who are nice can make stupid mistakes and do hurtful things. The difference is they know it, repent of it, and try to do better next time.

Maybe I'm an idealist, but I think niceness is a good thing and a highly desirable trait in others, particularly people with whom one might want to be friends or enter into a romantic relationship. I'm not advocating for nothing but friendly people in books, and I promise that my books will continue to include some very unfriendly, annoying, and awful characters, but I will also continue to have nice people in my books. Moreover, in my books the nice people will often win because, sadly, that's not always how it is in real life, and I'm a sucker for happy endings. But maybe if the nice people got more support, maybe if more focus was put on them than the not-nice people, niceness might prevail. And wouldn't that make the world, well, nicer?

I'm taking a deep breath and plunging into a discussion I've been a little wary of: why I'm not a fan of the bad boy/girl trope. As with everything, we're all different and we all like different things. The opinion I'm expressing here is my own, and it's one that colors the way I write characters, particularly romantic leads.
Bad boys and girls in pop culture tend to be portrayed as very sexy, that dangerous edge making them oh-so-appealing. But as anyone who's had to recover from a relationship with a bad boy/girl knows, being with someone who's physically abusive, manipulative, a pathological liar, or an emotional abuser--or any combination of these things--is no laughing matter. An unhealthy relationship can destroy a person's sense of self and have lasting effects on their mental and physical health. It can leave devastating scars that may require years of therapy to overcome. And the effects reach beyond the two people who form the couple. Dating violence can also destroy the victim's relationship with family and friends, leaving the victim isolated and loved ones to deal with the emotional impact of the loss of that relationship.

Now, I'm not saying that every fictional relationship has to be squeaky clean for me to approve. I also happen to be a very big fan of redemption stories, as I like to think it's possible for people to change and own up to the bad things they've done in the past, manifesting a sincere desire to do better and be better. However, if I'm reading a book or watching a movie or TV show, and the supposedly highly desirable love interest insults their dating partner, belittles them, or treats them horribly, it will turn me off instantly. And it goes without saying that if either partner is physically abusive toward the other, that's unacceptable. While I don't want to downplay the impact of physical abuse, I feel like emotional abuse is a much more hidden topic, one people often tend to dismiss as not being all that serious. Yes, we all do and say nasty things in the heat of the moment, but there's a difference between a few careless words and a long campaign of emotional abuse.

My most problematic love interest character is Lysander/Edward, the beast in The Eye of the Beholder. He's a redemption character, and I didn't want to soften his bad side. I wanted him to be a terrible person who slowly realizes how terrible he is and honestly repents of it. I'll come right out and admit I had trouble with writing him at times, particularly when I started to delve into the romantic side of his relationship with Mira. I was walking a tightrope, and I only hope I did it with at least some success.

Aside from him, my other love interest characters are of the nice guy variety, and one of the things that disturbs me most is when people think nice characters are unrealistic. I think that says a lot about our culture, that so many people honestly believe niceness is a rare and exotic quality. I personally reject this view because I happen to be married to a man who's a lot like some of the characters in my books. He respects me, he is my partner and treats me like one, and he's an active participant in my home life who does dishes, folds laundry, and spends time with the kids. Sure, we disagree and even fight sometimes, but we fight fair. He's been my biggest cheerleader almost since the day he came into my life, and it's really because of him that I took the leap and published my books, because he believes so strongly in me and wanted to see me follow my dreams. That is what a relationship should look like.

I feel strongly about this issue because of statistics like these, from loveisrespect.org:

• "One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence."
  
• "One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse."

And this from the World Health Organization:

• "Recent global prevalence figures indicate that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime."

And this from LAMBDA:

• "The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence against heterosexual women (25%).  As in opposite-gendered couples, the problem is likely underreported."

When popular culture portrays relationship violence as being sexy and desirable, it contributes to the noramlization of dating violence. No one should think that if their boyfriend is a habitual jerk, that's okay, as long as he pretends to be sorry. No one should believe that the woman of their dreams will walk all over them and treat them like an object, and that they should repress their hurt and their insecurities from her because she can't be bothered with them. That's not what real love looks like, and society does no one any service by pretending that it does look that way. Love is complicated and difficult, but at its heart a real, healthy, loving relationship means being in a partnership with someone who brings out the best in us, who listens to our hopes, fears, and dreams. Someone who offers an encouraging word and a shoulder to cry on, someone who doesn't hit below the belt because, at all times, he or she holds our feelings sacred.

So it probably goes without saying that there will be no sexy bad boys or girls in my books, unless I'm using them to illustrate a point, as I have in Starstruck. There will be flawed characters who do bad things and inflict pain on one another, but they will own up to that and grow as people--or they won't, which will clearly illustrate their villainy.

My hope is that more people will discuss topics like these until those statistics I quoted above shrink and shrink until they almost disappear.